Blog brought to you by the kittens

Kitten #1: Hey, howsago'n. I'm great, just been hanging out down at the shed this week. Pretty sweet, cause mom doesn't move us around the yard anymore and it's dry and quiet. I mean, sure, there's the obvious spider and wasp problem, which you would think would be kind of creepy but we're starting to get along. One of those, "you don't sting or bite me and I'll stay out of your way" kind of agreements. Actually, the "pests" are kind of built in security system, keeps out the riff raff. By that I mean the...well, you know..the "humans", NOT trying to be all species biased or anything, but they can be really, really obnoxious, especially the smaller ones but there is that one chick that's bigger who always picks us up and rubs her face all over us. Really gross and embarrassing. Oh look. Here she comes now. What does she want? Mom's not even home, I mean we are obviously old and mature enough to hang out in our own crib for 15 minutes without mom around...whoa! Why is she picking me up?!? Ok, let's get this over with. Yes, I am cute. Yes, I know, I am the "fweetest wittle thang efer" now if you don't mind I was in the middle of...WHY is she taking me back up that house? I swear these humans have no regard for the common decency of a cat, this is ridiculous. I suppose I am expected to dress up in a tu-tu and prance around to entertain her little...oh the picnic table? What's...what's this about? Oh I get it now, the camera. Okey dokey..yes I get it. I sit still and look at you and then you take me back, right? This is the deal. "Cheese" ok now can...oh and here we go again "Cheese!!" alrighty, now you have some pitcur...and once more "CHEEEEEEESE!!!!!!!!!!" Ok, so we're good now?

Great and let's just take me back and then...oh crap. There he comes. I knew it. I knew this would happen. This is gonna suck.


 Hmmm, yeah, ok, smile for the birdy...yeah, ok.....is this going to last much longer? 'Cause I had a fight scheduled with my brother and he's probably wondering where I am right about now...


you know, I bet my moms is back by now, so I probably need to go 'cause...whew, you don't want to KNOW how crazy she gets when we leave the house without permission, it's...haha, it's not pretty.
 

WOWZA, kid, those are my man parts. NOT COOL! Owie, I have an owie...and who care's? no one cares...ok, this is just really humiliating and awful. I hate this. Oh, so he's done with me now and that's when it stops, right?

 

Yeah, I see how it is. We wait till he's done with me. Screw you guys, I'm going home.

 

Oh look they're getting my brother now *snort* Watch this: "Hey brother! Have fun up there, it was awesome!"

Kitten #2 "Thanks man,What's going on up there anyway? The kids aren't there are they? Dude, I hope not, they are brutal."

Kitten #1 "Oh no, its awesome...it's a...a..It's a fish buffet, man. Totally wicked, you are gonna love it! I'm stuffed dude. Wish I could go back....*hahaha, sucker!*"

Kitten #2. "Awesome! I can't wait!"

Kitten #1 thinks and laughs to himself "Dude, how many times can you fall for that? What an idiot! I can't believe that's even my brother..."



Kitten #2. "Dammit! I fell for it again!"





*back at home*

Kitten #1: So, how was the "buffet" *entire litter bursts into laughter* Mom pretends to nap.
Kitten #2: I hate you all.

Kitten #3. Hahaha, what a dufus! You are so dumb...oh...no! Wait! NO!!! Please! Have mercy!!!



Kitten #3. Alright then. bring it on.They don't call me Angus for nothing...

FYI, it's probably funnier if you pretend that the kittens have some type of accent. I tried Scottish, British, and Australian and it was way more fun. Just, you know. FYI.....